What, exactly, is a sapiosexual and does that have something to do with your partner’s love for sappy movies? While that would be amazing, the answer is no.
A sapiosexual is a person who is attracted to intelligence. You may find your partner’s curves or muscles nice, but his/her brain is what really gets you going. There’s nothing like an intellectual conversation or debate that makes you stare at your partner, wondering how all of that fits in one tiny 3-pound organ that makes up only 2% of the body’s weight.
As a sapiosexual, your partner’s intelligence gives you the highest amount of arousal. When they use a new word you have not heard of or launch into a philosophical monologue on the merits of colonization on Mars, you are feeling all of the warm, pleasant tingles throughout your body. But, and this is important, neither you or your partner have to be super-smart, in the traditional sense, to be sapiosexuals. Intelligence comes in many forms. From the appreciation of a fine wine to the immense wonder of a falling leaf to the creation of a beautiful song, as a sapiosexual, you are turned-on by intelligence, no matter what medium it comes in.
And, to add a cherry to your ice cream, most sapiosexuals date other sapiosexuals because they need a partner they can share their intellect with.
Many experts say that relationships between sapiosexuals often last for a long time because the bond is not based on anything superficial. The mind is the connection and learning together only builds the bond. When you meet your intellectual equal, a lifetime of stimulating conversations are sure to come. When dating, experts say that sapiosexuals must ensure they are not bonding with another sapiosexual to fill any holes they may perceive in themselves. This may breed a competitive relationship rather than one of equal minds.
So, after that long introduction, let’s get into the six ways that will prove you are a sapiosexual if you are still wondering.
#1 THE MORE YOU GET TO KNOW SOMEONE, THE MORE ATTRACTED TO THEM YOU ARE
Sapiosexuals do not often notice someone’s attractiveness, instantaneously. You may meet someone and not find them particularly attractive, but the more you get to know them, and witness their intellect, the more attractive they become. Whether this person confidently shares their opinion or talks about some obscure topic with great passion, their mind is your aphrodisiac. A strong and varied knowledge base is just… fantastic.
#2 CONVERSATION > SEX
While you may enjoy sexual intercourse or even a one-night stand, what really turns you on is an intangible asset — the mind. A deep conversation can have you wanting to delve deeper into your partner’s mind, if you could, rather than their pants. If you had a choice between an amazing conversation filled with and humor and an amazing make-out session, you would choose the conversation. It satisfies you so much more. Now, if stellar conversation and a make-out session were to co-occur, then that just might be your ultimate fantasy. If you do choose a partner that is more physical, adding more physical stimulation to balance out the intellectual stimulation is your best bet so that both of you can be satisfied in the relationship.
#3 WHAT THEY HAVE IS FINE, WHAT THEY KNOW IS INFINITELY BETTER
Money, fame, and fancy titles don’t impress you much. Or at all. You are not dazzled by price tags that feature five zeroes or houses so big you could get lost in them. Neither are you swayed by someone’s fashion sense or five-syllable title. You are in search of a person who has an insatiable thirst for knowledge, a life that will be filled with learning, and a sincere enjoyment in discussing all the knowledge they have acquired.
#4 BAD GRAMMAR TURNS YOU OFF
Bad grammar is a big no-no. While you may forgive a quick text that is full of text speak, consistent grammar errors could leave you swiping left. To find someone on your intellectual level, you are looking for someone who cares about the written word. For that matter, when they have impeccable grammar in texts, emails, and other written communication, you will hold them in very high regard. If not, most likely, they have little chance with you.
#5 WHEN PRESENTED WITH A HAYSTACK, YOU WILL FIND THE NEEDLE
As you are looking for a melding of the minds, you are much more likely to find the gem that has been thrown away due to imperfections. Often, your attraction for someone comes much later in the relationship, because you are vetting their mind and personality. This will help you weed out someone who is beautiful or handsome on the outside, but hideous on the inside. Good looks are not your barometer. Your barometer is based on whether this person is mentally and emotionally compatible. If not, then you have not found the one. When you do, you will know. After discussing various topics with increasing passion, the spark will grow into a fire that may never die. Just like you like it.
#6 KNOWLEDGE IS HOT, NO MATTER WHAT KIND
Mentioned before, but sapiosexuals love knowledge just because. You do not need a job interview or paycheck to acquire more knowledge. No matter what the form, you want to know more. Whether this knowledge is in the form of trivia facts or highly-technical scientific information, you are attracted to all of it and the people who possess it. To really make you fall hard, someone who has a wide-breath of knowledge is the ultimate partner. You can mention angler fish and they might answer with, “You mean the fish that mate using sexual parasitism?”
If there is any varied knowledge like that, you may as well just hand them the key. Your heart is theirs.